It seems impossible that a person can change in so short a time. In recent days, due to circumstances, I've been made to face the monster in myself. It terrified me like nothing could ever do. Now I understand the truth of that old adage - "The greatest enemy is yourself".

It's hard to pick up the pieces. Harder still to keep my plunging self-esteem afloat, if it hasn't already hit rock bottom. I guess one could say it's my ultimate retribution, no matter what name it comes by, I'm done in. Beaten into the dust, humbled, and finally that proud persona is falling away.

What am I? Is that really me? Where is the sweet innocent girl that every boy would fall for? The untainted purity of heart, the virgin-white history? What am I?

A dirty spot on white linen.

Wow, it's been quite a gruelling week ahead! We're all stuffed up at the printing factory, sorting out Chanel ads for September's issues of ELLE, Female & Her World. The problem is that some of the pieces may be printed wrongly, or not evenly enough, so we have to sift them all to pick out the good ones. The numbers are:

ELLE - 40,000 copies
Female - 60,000 copies
Her World - 67,000 copies

And this is only for Singapore. There's another pile for Malaysia too.

We've been going home at 10.00pm every day, it's back-breaking work but hopefully it won't last too long.

Here's a secret: I created a new account and went back to those forums. I know, I'm disobedient, because I did say I'd stay away. However I was very bored and longed to take part in discussions there, and the response rate in there is fast. However, everyone who knew me there once no longer knows who I am, so in a way I'm ok, just posting under a different name. But today, some guy, whom my posts were NOT directed at, said my "therapist attitude" was pissing him off *grumbles* That's just one of the things that makes being online so difficult. You get dissed for nothing, just because you tried to give some advice to someone else.
Well, I turned around and told him not to read my posts if he doesn't like it, and to lay off me. Nobody's telling HIM how to behave anyway. Jerk.

Sadly, that just reminds me how few friends I really do have. I mean...I know I NEED to talk to my friends, that keeps my social spirits happy, but if all I'm doing is going to a forum where there are so much losers...and, shock horror! Am I actually counting on their company to get my social fill? I must be pretty pathetic.
I thought of joining a Singapore forum, but that will just be more hassle, and most of the time you just get ignored, so no point eh.