I need to be more like...

Sharon. Who gets things done and moves ahead in life with a practicality and cheerful straightforwardness.

Jingmei. Who treats everyone with love, tolerance and understanding.

Samantha. Whose bubbly personality and caring nature makes everyone smile.

And me? I think I am still a big question mark.

I'm struggling at work.

Coming from a year and a half of working at full speed with little to no problems in my previous job, now suddenly it's back to square one, I barely know anything about the industry I'm in.

Even though everyone at work tells me to just relax and learn for now, I can't help but feel a little useless. Oh, especially when my colleague manages to do everything on her own.

My moods have taken the brunt, and now they're rocky, sometimes high, but most often low. I'm exhausted after each day yet my mind is going at full speed. My self-esteem struggles to stay afloat.

But I guess many people feel this way too.

*sigh*

I was clearing my Sent Items folder in my mailbox today. As I deleted each message, my eyes fell on the email written to my current boss, which I'd sent my resume and CV to. I felt both proud and humbled at once - proud because I managed to get myself out of a job I was growing to hate, and humbled because it was a reminder to keep my head down and working hard no matter what. I have a new job, a kind and understanding boss, and a colleague who's willing to teach me the ropes. Time passes by really quickly at the offfice, before you know it it's 6pm, so it's crucial to get to work the moment I step in the door. How lucky I am!

August's edition of CLEO magazine is so eye-catching with it's neon pink cover and sunny yellow letters, the perfect backdrop for covergirl Sandra Bullock. Jingmei's sister, Jing Hui, told me that the people working at CLEO are worked to death...I really admire them for being able to churn out such an attractive-looking magazine packed with all sorts of information every month. The amount of research, writing, photography and liasoning with clients...I can't even begin to imagine how much work is squeezed in under a month!

I packed my room a little and threw out a whole bunch of old stuff - 3 black trashbags full of books I like but never got around to read, some clothes I'll not wear since I'm getting into a different style phase now. I'll only keep what I'll wear often, and I will keep things simple. No more accumulating of stuff! On the other hand, I splurged on some glittering new necklaces, a pair of gold hoop earrings, a new pouch for the mp3 player, an issue of U.S. edition Seventeen magazine and this month's issue of SHAPE Singapore. I won't mention the 3 pieces of clothing I bought that cost me a little fortune, but that was my reward to myself for getting a new job, so I'll promise not to spend so much next month.

All power and love to my girls Jingmei, Sharon and Samantha, they visited me in hospital on the 4th July when me and my Dad were down with dengue fever. To my Mum, she's the best in the world, running around frantically to take care of us in hospital and go to work, and for her loving attention when she washed my hair twice during my week in hospital. I love you, Mum.

The new Britney Spear's perfume "Curious in Control" has a smashing little writeup in CLEO:
5 Things You Should Be in Control Of:
- Your life
- Your money
- Your anger
- Your looks
- Your scent